Pain released after 40 years

The following was written by Laurel B, a Munay Holistics client. 

The Journey -  a powerful process that is helping me survive the loss of my old life and leading me towards a new one.  I am not through the tunnel yet.

My life seemed perfect as 2011 began:  what I thought was a perfect marriage, loving husband, beautiful child, successful career.   

True – I have always had emotional problems and struggled with anxiety, worry, and an unexplainable apprehension.   But I recognized how lucky I was to have such a loving family, financial security, and good health.  And spring 2011 was very happy.  Then things began to shift.  Messengers of change and light began appearing in my life, childhood losses and pain began to surface, and my emotional state began to change.  Tears were a constant part of my consciousness.   I tried the journey as an academic experiment, as one of many attempts to understand what was happening.

The first journey brought me to the core of anger from my childhood, at the injustices of childhood prejudice and intimidation and bullying that had shaped my fear of the world and my low self esteem.   The next day I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from me, but the tears remained.  Anger began to surface and move through me as if my entire world was falling to pieces, but I couldn’t explain why.  4 days later I caught my husband of 14 years in an affair.  He turned physically and emotionally abusive, and left our home.  The next few months my emotional state worsened in an odd way.  Rather than anger at my husband, I felt an overwhelming panic and fear, hysteria at the thought of him being gone.  Having grown up without a father, I was consciously completely comfortable with the “one parent” home, and couldn’t understand where the panic was coming from. 

When I reached a point of being unable to control the hysteria I went to try another Journey,  desperate to find a solution.     

What happened was unexpected and almost beyond verbal description.  The abandonment of my husband became the death of my father when I was 6 years old.  I lived the panic, the hysteria that I did not express as a child, held in safety by my Journey mentor and Loving Spirit Liza.   My father was released from the binds that had held him here for 40 years.  I said goodbye.  

The panic, fear, hysteria disappeared instantaneously.  The gloom and shadow that has covered me my entire life is no longer here.   Now all I feel is the appropriate grief and sadness at the loss of my husband and marriage.  Even the desperate financial situation is causing only minor concern.  Happiness hasn’t arrived in my life, not yet.  But I am now walking through a perfectly explainable grief pattern experiencing appropriate reactions and clarity of emotions.

With each successive Journey old tragedies and wounds are being healed and I am awakening to realize that there is a beautiful future in store for me.  

I don’t think that there is a way to predict what you will uncover during a Journey into the inner place in your body and soul – but the pure love that exists there can be trusted to heal you and set you on a path to the beautiful life you were created to live.